Our Life Together
In the end, I hope to die smothered / in the honey of your lies.
“What the hell do I care about the truth? I care that you’re there.” – Nikki Giovanni
I hope our life together is full of lies.
Big lies, small lies, seemingly unnecessary lies,
lies that others would baulk at
and therapists would admonish us for.
I want you to paint over the bad,
to dazzle me with words.
I need you to pretend that the world isn’t trying
to eat us alive.
I can feel it now:
Buoyant in a Dead Sea of your lies,
I’m staring at the sky above me, rapt –
a lightness in my body I haven’t felt
since I learned the weight of its gold.
I can feel it now:
I’m sailing above scorched earth,
wind thrusting into a parachute
woven tough with the flapping nylon of your lies,
and tears are racing into my ears.
In the end, I hope to die smothered
in the honey of your lies.
As the skin-thin, brittle bones in my fingers grasp yours,
you will whisper in my failing ears the secrets of our life together.
It was you who gave us halcyon dusks spent sealed together in sweat,
beguiled by each other and pussy-pink sunsets.
The constellations I saw reflected in your eyes
that perfect plate of plums
that salty-sweet cum
that picture of us
this life
would be nothing at all to enjoy,
without your serpentine tongue and its lies.
So when you ask me
Would I lie to you?
I will pull you close, sniff your neck
and stroke your scalp
As if my life depends on it.
My heart cracked open reading this. 🙏🏼